Title: Don't Grope The Nurses or How Hasshi's Magic Worked on Taipi's Hair 1 - 10
Unit for Points: ABC-Z
Word Count: 100
Characters/Pairings: Fujigaya, ABC-Z
Author's Notes: Does there need to be a warning for “possible damage to Fujigaya's hair”? XD
"...as soon as I sat down," Fujigaya explains, one hand moving in agitation, the other clutching his phone to his ear, "the goat reared up on its hindlegs, put its dirty hooves on my coat, and started to chew on my hair!”
Less than an hour later, there's a knock on his door. Fujigaya opens his door and gapes, before pulling Goseki inside quickly. “You came here wearing that!?”
“My coat covered most of it,” Goseki replies calmly, removing his facemask. Only now does Fujigaya notice the coat folded over his arm. The white nursedress looks surprisingly good on Goseki.
The little cap and prim white dress should look ridiculous, but Fujigaya isn't laughing. He sits down under Goseki's orders, and watches while Goseki pulls a brush and a pair of scissors from his bag.
“Now be a good boy and let me see the patient,” Goseki says sweetly, his voice half an octave higher than usual.
Biting his lip, Fujigaya removes the hat. The overly theatrical way Goseki says “Oh!” and covers his mouth with both hands almost makes Fujigaya smile.
“I can fix this,” Goseki chirps, still in full on acting mode. “No need to call the doctor!”
They end up calling Kawai anyway.
“Does either one of you actually know how to cut hair?” Fujigaya grumbles, not even surprised to see that Kawai is dressed up as a doctor, complete with stethoscope.
“It's just hair,” Kawai waves him off, “how hard can it be?”
Fujigaya's affronted face makes him snort. A moment later Kawai starts to laugh loud enough that Fujigaya knows at least three of his neighbours will complain tomorrow, but just at that moment Fujigaya really doesn't care about his neighbours. He's laughing too hard himself, Kawai's annoying, ridiculous cackle setting him off like always.
Goseki actually brought a magazine showing how to do simple haircuts. Fujigaya isn't sure he wants to entrust his hair to amateurs (it's his hair, after all), but Kawai produces a few cans of beer and Fujigaya agrees. Somehow.
It's certainly got nothing to do with the way Goseki bats his eyelashes.
“That's disturbing,” Fujigaya points out when Kawai's hand keeps traveling higher on Goseki's thigh.
Goseki's fake, sweet smile turns sharp. Fujigaya is used to Goseki's ways and he's certainly not afraid. It's hard to talk about 'cosplay' and 'weird' when your mouth is full of beer, that's all.
While nurse Goseki and Kawai brush and snip at his hair seemingly at random, Fujigaya keeps up a silent mantra of 'If it turns out bad, I can go to a real hairdresser tomorrow'.
Silent because Kawai can't cut straight when he's laughing. Silent because repetitive use of the same sentence is apparently completely hilarious to Kawai when he's slightly intoxicated. Silent because Kawai is on the phone to Totsuka, which means there'll be a witness if he murders Kawai for what he's almost certainly done to his hair.
Silent because there might not be enough hair left to fix.
When the doorbell rings, Fujigaya rouses himself enough to answer it. He's not going to let either Kawai or Goseki open his door – there's always a small chance that it might not be Totsuka, despite the late hour.
Totsuka is wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
Fujigaya wasn't aware that he'd been holding his breath until relief floods through him. At least one member of ABC-Z is capable of showing up at his door while looking like a reasonable person he might not be ashamed to be seen with.
“I brought natto,” Totsuka offers, causing a loud cheer from doctor Kawai.
By the time Tsukada shows up at his door, Fujigaya is nearly beyond caring. Totsuka and Kawai are eating smelly, slimy natto on his couch while Goseki practices swinging his hips in front of Fujigaya's floorlength mirror. Every time Goseki's white nurse dress swishes in a certain way, Kawai stops chewing long enough to catcall.
“I'm not letting you touch my hair,” Fujigaya informs Tsukada - Tsukada's hair is almost as bad as Kawai's.
Tsukada just squishes himself onto the couch next to Totsuka, the power of his muscular butt making room for him where there doesn't seem to be any.
When Fujigaya comes back from opening the door for Hashimoto, who really shouldn't be out alone at this time of night, doctor Kawai has somehow ended up in Tsukada's lap. Fujigaya doesn't want to know how. Luckily, Hashimoto's announcement that he's not supposed to have any beer and that he can totally fix Fujigaya's hair keeps him from having to ask.
Fujigaya's tired enough that he takes Totsuka's assurance that Hashimoto is magic at face value. He sits down, lets Hashimoto do what he will to his hair, almost resigned to wearing a wig if he can just sleep already.
Snip, snip, snap.
The noise of scissors working not only on his hair, but so close to his ears should worry Fujigaya, but he's in an almost zen-like state right now. He's even convinced himself that Hashimoto might just possibly know what he's doing – at least, he's been cutting and brushing for a while, and hasn't removed Fujigaya's ears or nose yet, so he's not completely incompetent.
“Don't grope the nurses!” Hashimoto admonishes sternly, but Fujigaya refuses to look at the scene unfolding in his livingroom. Goseki's high giggles alone let him know that he is still in character.
Fujigaya wakes up with a headache and too many members of ABC-Z piled into his bed. He untangles himself, stumbles to the bathroom more dead than alive. He's in the bathroom for fifteen minutes before he chances to look into the mirror while brushing his teeth and freezes.
The events from yesterday rush back to him – the goat eating a portion of his hair during filming, ABC-Z plying him with beer before reenacting weird hospital porn on his couch, Hashimoto cutting his hair.
But however long he stares into the mirror, he can't deny that his new haircut looks amazing.